Femdom Blog

90% of all my human toilet trainees swallow my poo successfully on their first try, this story is about why.  You see, if human toilet training sessions were like scat videos you’d go to your bathroom and shit every place but inside your toilet.  You don’t go pee on your mirror and shit on your toothbrush do you?  So get out of your world of internet porn and step into the reality of what my expectations are of you as my human toilet trainee.  As such, your job is to take the place of my toilet and do your job as well as my porcelain does so that my bathroom looks and smells exactly the way it did when i entered it.  For that to happen, you would think that the onus of responsibility would be on you, it isn’t.

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The Mistress Has the Onus of Responsibility in Training her Human Toilet Properly

Just as my toilet isn’t big enough to hold shit from a dinosaur … well probably … your mouth isn’t big enough to hold shit from my ass.  If i’m in Bangkok and you’re in Boston and i’m trying to stab you with a knife i’m not gonna reach you, unless you have an extremely long dick.  I’m not effective because i’ve chosen the wrong tool for the job.  So similarly, if i don’t want to leave a mountain of shit on my human toilet’s mouth i have two choices.  Change the toilet or change the tool.  Well, you’re paying me to be my human toilet so i can’t very well change you.  Hmm, i guess that means i should choose a different tool, or method in this case.  Otherwise i’m gonna be dealing with a mountain of shit on your face.  Maybe that’s good if i’m recreating a Close Encounters of the Third Kind scenario, but otherwise not so good.

 

 

Mistress Jaa, the original one not me – has the best human toilet video in the world … in my opinion.  I know because i did the session with her last year and i did the video for it.  She wouldn’t be able to sell one copy of the video because nobody would believe it’s a shit eating video of a human toilet eating her poo right in the middle of her and Natty doing their Tease & Denial session.  The reason it’s perfect is because from start to finish you wouldn’t even know he’s eating her poo.  Even me, I didn’t believe he was actually eating it and you can hear me in the video asking her if he actually has her poo in his mouth.  So i wanna talk about that, how i learned from her the proper way to do a human toilet training session, and what finally is your onus of responsibility being the trainee.

The proper way is neither easy nor fun … for me.  It’s what put me in the hospital on Monday after Sunday’s session.  There has to be a separation between pee and poo.  Unfortunately they both come out together.  So the first step is not to jump right to the poo part, the proper way is for you to be patient and drink all my pee that i slowly have to let out of me while squeezing my ass and not lettindouble-tankg the poo drop out at the same time.  It’s kinda like doing 69 and eating pizza, you have to stop one to do the other.

The problem is the double tank system.

Huh?  You know about it, i think guy’s are the same as girl’s no?  You can pee normally but when that stops you’re not really finished are you?  If you push what happens?  Yessss … the second tank inside your stomach opens up and the the second tank of pee comes out.  Well guess what happens when i poo?  I push.  So there is this thing that Jaa can do very well and i end up explaining to a doctor 24 hours later … is the ability to poo and hold the pee at the same time.

Why?  Why is that even necessary?

Because of that onus of responsibility I told you about.  It is my responsibility to not drop dinosaur turds into your mouth like i’m a Dairy Queen Blizzard machine.  The actual secret to having a perfect human toilet session is to one make a perfect seal over the slaves mouth with my ass and two to let him break off and swallow what he can handle.  So hang on, back up.  About the first rule, that flies against every poo video you’ve seen on the internet.  You know … the video where my counterpart is dropping shit into her slaves mouth like a plane carpet bombing a rice field.  Umm, when was the last time you went to the bathroom and actually stood up on the toilet to shit in the water 3 feet below you?  If you answered “often” by the way, for your sake proper-toilet-waymake sure you lock the door so your wife doesn’t ever catch you doing that lol.

The same way your ass is sealed on the toilet seat, your mouth seals my ass before anything comes out.  So for my human toilet wannabe’s who are visualizing seeing my ass open up and seeing the poo come out slowly and make like a snake down into your mouth where you will have a 50/50 chance of catching it, think again.

You’re not going to be all that comfortable as my human toilet.  Lucky for you i weight under 50kg soaking wet, so the pressure on your face isn’t jaw breaking, but it’s still heavy.  I need to sit heavy to make the perfect seal.  Sorry, it’s the way it is.  Which leads to the second uncomfortable thing for you, you inability to breathe.  Which is a good thing because you’re all so afraid of how you’ll react to the smell right?  Heyyyy … forgetaboutit.

No smell.  Again, the onus of responsibility is on me to let my human toilet breathe every 30 seconds or so by leaning forward to take the weight off your nose.  So then what’s left for my human toilet slave down there is not a visual experience but a sensory experience.  If your mouth is pressed hard against my ass you’ll won’t even feel my ass open or close, you’ll just feel the pushing and that takes forever.  It’s like a whole different Tease & Denial session for you because i have to lower my poo like a piano being lowered down the side of a building … slowly and carefully.  This is human toilet mcnuggetslike a hell on earth for me that you can’t imagine.  At the same time i’m lowering the chicken McNuggets i’m concentrating on squeezing my vagina to not not soak the chicken with my pee before it’s served.  It’s just bad customer service to serve wet chicken McNuggets you know.

This is what the doctor said caused the blockage in my kidney on Monday.  By blocking the second tank of pee from opening for the whole 10 to 15 minutes it takes to drop the poo down the garbage shoot i caused a horrible day long case of stomach cramps that were hellish.  So you wanna know why the poo sessions are 10K and not 7K , it’s because as you’re on the skytrain going home thinking about the best damn chicken McNuggets you’ve ever eaten, i’m on the bed then and for 24 hours feeling like i’m in constant labor.  Ok … i’m guessing there guys.  I’ve heard rumors that childbirth is painful but i have no said experience lol.   You can put your hand down, i’m not accepting volunteers to get me pregnant so i can experience it for reals.

At some point when the poo looks like a turtle head coming out of the shell, or feels like that because we both can’t see it, i’m gonna ask you to use your tongue … not your lips … to break off your nugget of chicken and let it break off into your mouth.  Why not your lips?  Because it’s messy.  Do you wipe your ass as your shit is coming out or after?  Think about it.

 

 

Again, right tool for the job.  Using a rocket launcher to kill you while you’re standing in front of me is probably not the best tool for the job.  Tongue over lips boys.

Just like at McDonalds’, what you do with the McNugget once it’s in your mouth is your business.

human toilet cimUnlike some of you assholes out there with your girls, i allow my man to spit lol.  If my human toilet at that moment freaks out and can’t swallow what he has in his mouth, you’re allowed to sit up and drop it in the toilet … but you’re going back under me as soon as you’ve made your deposit.  However because of the manageable size that’s in your mouth i find most try and succeed at swallowing, thus giving them their ultimate fantasy.  My method, while landing me face to face with my doctor sometimes, has about a 90% success rate at giving the guy his fantasy come true.  Then of course, there are the more umm … “creative” types about what to do with the poo in the mouth …

And if you have a nice big plastic dick to fuck my ass and degrade me while I’m having your poop in my mouth, just do it. My body is yours.

 

So that you can’t say you haven’t been warned ahead of time … if i’m fucking your ass like that, your head is in the toilet under water playing “bobbing for poo” while i’m letting you have it.

That leaves only your onus of responsibility then as my human toilet which is … be a good toilet.  Your purpose in serving me down there, and especially if you ever want to have the privilege of coming back and serving me again, is to leave my ass like it’s a perfect crime scene, no evidence that a real toilet wasn’t used.

If you’re good, we’ll make the worlds second most boring human toilet video together 🙂

 

Jaa xx

Note : A session that is specifically related to Toilet Training is 15,000 baht.

 

 

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