Femdom Blog

Human Furniture | Breaking in a New Table | Mistress Jaa

the accompanying video can be seen in this post from my OnlyFans femdom video blog.


I tell all my potential 24/7 human furniture slave applicants to do this one simple test to show them just how difficult it is to actually serve as a piece of human furniture. I welcome you to try this at home for just 10 minutes , whereas for my human furniture slave applicants the test is 1 hour in duration.

Simply go on all four’s , keep your back straight and balance a 10kg weight in the curve of your back , preferably a kettlebell but anything that would approximate the weight of my legs on your back will suffice.

Hold that position for 10 whole minutes. If the weight that you’ve placed upon your back falls off, you must reset the timer and begin again.

If you manage to pass that test , I have another one for you. I call it the derivitive test , the furniture of a furniture with respect to weight test. Yes I passed Calculus , yes I cheated , yes I thoroughly seduced both a classmate and the teacher in order to do so. It’s Chapter 4 in my long-since-unfinished book. Anyways, I digress.



You’re going to take a piece of furniture in your house , be it a coffee table, a sofa, the kitchen table , the television stand … I don’t care what it is , only that it’s quite heavy.

With whatever furniture you’ve chosen , you then need to figure out how to balance that on your back while on all 4’s. I’d say get somebody to help you , but no doubt nearly all of you will be wanting to do this alone.

Again, once its balanced , time yourself to hold it in place for a full 10 minutes. If you are serious about becoming a full time 24/7 slave with human furniture experience , you must balance it for an entire hour.

This will simulate my 50kg weight sitting on you.




I want you to feel your breathing threaten the balance you are trying to maintain. Imagine a scalding hot cup of coffee pearched precariously upon the pretty pallette of your backside. Wouldn’t want your trembling arms to send that crashing to the floor would you?

With the heavy furniture causing you to sway from arm to arm, leg to leg to distrubute the uncomfortable weight , I want you to make those adjustments so minuscule that I would hardly notice while sitting on you from above , writing this lengthy story which is taking hours to write.

Sooner or later , you’re going to be presented with a problem, that of the beads of sweat which are going to congregate on your eyebrow. Some will fall to the floor creating an ever growing puddle of your man stench , while other drops will instead find their way into your eye , and you’ll wince as if there were a hive of bees which you have angered and were constantly stinging your retina.



Dare you lift an arm to wipe away the salty moisture which torments you so , you’ll risk sending me tumbling to the floor.

And then. You will be in a world of trouble.

So I suggest you begin practicing , for I demand my human furniture applicants display some sort of competance at which you had thought to be such an easy task.

I assure you, the task which you are applying for is anything but easy.


Mistress Jaa


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