Beneath My Words: Finding Sanctuary I need love in my life so much. I am trying to ignore the instant phone calls from Mars to Earth, and the love stories in each episode of Away are allowing me to dismiss the impossible. Barely. I wish I had someone to love like the Chinese ladies loved one another in episode three. More so, I wish I had just one family member—any of them—who’d love me as much as the younger Indian brother loved his older brother and laid his life down for him. I had to pause a bit before watching episode 5 because here I am at 10:30 PM curled up like a ball on my bed, having cried into …
From Fake Acting to Final Breath – How Jiu-Jitsu Turned My Face Sitting Sessions Into the Ultimate Test of Submission Face sitting, when I first started as a Mistress 11 years ago, was just me copying what Rainy and Jaa (Mistress Jaa v1 + v2) would do to address such a session. I’d simply plop myself on top of the very willing slave’s face and do a two-hour shimmy shake. He’d pretend to suffer, I’d pretend to laugh; two hours would pass, and he’d slip me the envelope with 7,000 baht inside and profess how great the session was. Was it? Really? “All that fake acting on both parts—is that what constitutes a ‘great session’?” I asked myself as a …
The Chemical Cost of Feeling: Why Femdom Was My Unlikely Lifeline The morning sun was just starting to peek through the Chiang Rai air, painting the humid air in soft oranges. My two dogs, oblivious to the storm raging inside me, licked my face with relentless affection as I sat on the side of the road, tears streaming down my face. My parents were nearby, their quiet presence a gentle anchor, pretending not to notice their adult child crumbling. The dogs wanted to make me happy. I knew it, understood it, but my brain, a stubborn, cruel organ, refused to translate their pure, uncomplicated love into anything but a dull, aching emptiness. It’s this: the unbearable void that even …
The ball busting epic conclusion to my book’s first chapter, On Punishment! – tells the story of the most brutal ball busting ever dished out – and I didn’t even have to touch George the poor slave who endured it all: Crushed by Chaos: 500 strikes to the balls in 60 seconds! Now I don’t need to go into any further detail about that session with Sven because all you need to know is this: in the two and a half hours I had him tied up, suspended from that beam with his legs pulled apart so that his balls were fully exposed, I only needed to kick him exactly four times. Heck, for one of those hours, I wasn’t …
The Art of Psychological Domination Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 were previously published for my Patreon Subscribers is immediate, instinctive reaction was to buckle his knees inwards to protect his testicles. But the ropes I had tied so securely kept him from budging, his legs still stretched out wide. Next, he tried lifting his feet to shield his vulnerable area, but with just a few inches of slack in the rope, it wasn’t enough. His feet hovered above the floor but were barely able to move. Then came the jerking motions—twisting his body left and right, trying to rotate his groin to make it harder for me to reach. It was a futile attempt. I wasn’t in …
It’s challenging to command another person when I lack the proficiency in English to demand respect and don’t have the depth of experience from numerous sessions to guide my actions effectively. My first clue about how to conduct myself in a session came from a video I watched while studying the femdom lifestyle on kink.com—which, granted, is mostly a porn site with a thin layer of femdom around it—but it does have tiny nuggets of gold that can be found if one looks closely enough. In the video, the submissive slave is dominated entirely in a foreign language he clearly doesn’t understand. His discomfort tilts the balance of power in his Mistress’s favor, and I found this technique to be …
Fanvue written thoughts from today. I’ve been all over the place with my health the past three days and the first ten days of February haven’t been anywhere near as productive as I’d have liked them to be. But I managed to sleep for most of the past 48 hours and I’m feeling better – though it is 3am as I write this long post … I started at midnight. So I’ve pasted the 3,000 words that I wrote on FanVue earlier tonight down below and now as sort of a prologue to the post I’m adding to it at the top here. Sometimes when I write – to get myself in the mood to do it because it takes …
Speaking of lingering pain, I’d be lying if I said this whole philosophy of dishing out punishment strategically came together perfectly from day one as a Mistress. The first time I ever hit a man—well, other than my ex-husband—was during my second session, and let’s just say it didn’t go very well. In fact, saying “it couldn’t have gone any worse” would be a more accurate description of that fateful afternoon. The problem that day wasn’t the slave we were seeing, nor the Mistress who accompanied me, or even the dark, dank condo we had traveled to for the session. Nope. The real culprit of that afternoon was the bullwhip that had arrived earlier that week—a very expensive Indiana Jones …
My extreme femdom philosophy dictates that I don’t sit facing the slave’s head during extreme pussy worship or extreme shit feeding; I always sit facing the slave’s balls. Today, I’m facing this way because, let’s face it, men like to see a face get attacked with a pussy. To begin a teasing or toilet session, I always (since 2024) lay out three tools on the desk for the slave to see: a small branding iron sitting on top of my equally small electric oven, a taser, and the tiniest opaque bottle you’ve ever seen—the inside contains Resiniferatoxin, or what I tell my slaves is “hell unleashed on your balls.” From that point, I matter-of-factly lay out the rules for the …
In the heart of Bangkok, where shadows dance with the night, a dominatrix crafts her dominion. Born from the darkest corners of her past, she now controls with an iron will, her sessions a blend of fear and fantasy. Every touch is a story, every command a testament to her survival. Here, in her world, she’s not just untouchable; she’s the one who decides who falls, who rises, and this is the 75th word. And this part should now be the exciting part of the story. The part that is behind Patreon’s paywall on my blog page. So I’ll color this green. If this works, when I look at this from my phone, this part should be hidden. I’m …
