Beneath My Words: Finding Sanctuary I need love in my life so much. I am trying to ignore the instant phone calls from Mars to Earth, and the love stories in each episode of Away are allowing me to dismiss the impossible. Barely. I wish I had someone to love like the Chinese ladies loved one another in episode three. More so, I wish I had just one family member—any of them—who’d love me as much as the younger Indian brother loved his older brother and laid his life down for him. I had to pause a bit before watching episode 5 because here I am at 10:30 PM curled up like a ball on my bed, having cried into …
From Fake Acting to Final Breath – How Jiu-Jitsu Turned My Face Sitting Sessions Into the Ultimate Test of Submission Face sitting, when I first started as a Mistress 11 years ago, was just me copying what Rainy and Jaa (Mistress Jaa v1 + v2) would do to address such a session. I’d simply plop myself on top of the very willing slave’s face and do a two-hour shimmy shake. He’d pretend to suffer, I’d pretend to laugh; two hours would pass, and he’d slip me the envelope with 7,000 baht inside and profess how great the session was. Was it? Really? “All that fake acting on both parts—is that what constitutes a ‘great session’?” I asked myself as a …
The Chemical Cost of Feeling: Why Femdom Was My Unlikely Lifeline The morning sun was just starting to peek through the Chiang Rai air, painting the humid air in soft oranges. My two dogs, oblivious to the storm raging inside me, licked my face with relentless affection as I sat on the side of the road, tears streaming down my face. My parents were nearby, their quiet presence a gentle anchor, pretending not to notice their adult child crumbling. The dogs wanted to make me happy. I knew it, understood it, but my brain, a stubborn, cruel organ, refused to translate their pure, uncomplicated love into anything but a dull, aching emptiness. It’s this: the unbearable void that even …
Fanvue written thoughts from today. I’ve been all over the place with my health the past three days and the first ten days of February haven’t been anywhere near as productive as I’d have liked them to be. But I managed to sleep for most of the past 48 hours and I’m feeling better – though it is 3am as I write this long post … I started at midnight. So I’ve pasted the 3,000 words that I wrote on FanVue earlier tonight down below and now as sort of a prologue to the post I’m adding to it at the top here. Sometimes when I write – to get myself in the mood to do it because it takes …
Speaking of lingering pain, I’d be lying if I said this whole philosophy of dishing out punishment strategically came together perfectly from day one as a Mistress. The first time I ever hit a man—well, other than my ex-husband—was during my second session, and let’s just say it didn’t go very well. In fact, saying “it couldn’t have gone any worse” would be a more accurate description of that fateful afternoon. The problem that day wasn’t the slave we were seeing, nor the Mistress who accompanied me, or even the dark, dank condo we had traveled to for the session. Nope. The real culprit of that afternoon was the bullwhip that had arrived earlier that week—a very expensive Indiana Jones …
My extreme femdom philosophy dictates that I don’t sit facing the slave’s head during extreme pussy worship or extreme shit feeding; I always sit facing the slave’s balls. Today, I’m facing this way because, let’s face it, men like to see a face get attacked with a pussy. To begin a teasing or toilet session, I always (since 2024) lay out three tools on the desk for the slave to see: a small branding iron sitting on top of my equally small electric oven, a taser, and the tiniest opaque bottle you’ve ever seen—the inside contains Resiniferatoxin, or what I tell my slaves is “hell unleashed on your balls.” From that point, I matter-of-factly lay out the rules for the …
In the heart of Bangkok, where shadows dance with the night, a dominatrix crafts her dominion. Born from the darkest corners of her past, she now controls with an iron will, her sessions a blend of fear and fantasy. Every touch is a story, every command a testament to her survival. Here, in her world, she’s not just untouchable; she’s the one who decides who falls, who rises, and this is the 75th word. And this part should now be the exciting part of the story. The part that is behind Patreon’s paywall on my blog page. So I’ll color this green. If this works, when I look at this from my phone, this part should be hidden. I’m …
I finished setting up the tiers for my Patreon, so I’m almost ready to go live with this, I just need to learn how to split these posts so that a portion of this story any visitor to this blog can read, and then if this is anything like how Substack worked, there should be a line where I can put the remaining part of the post behind my $5 subscription tier on Patreon. So if you’re new to the blog, let me get you up to speed with a tl:dr summary of what I’m doing here with me combining Patreon to my jaa4u.com femdom blog. I mean, if it works. I know how to write quite well and I …
Good morning everybody 🙂 I’m writing this on FanVue. It’s where I live, it’s where I love to interact. And let me say … First, I LOVE , like absolutely LOVE all the discussions I’m having with the 7 of you. It makes my day to log in and open messages and just chat with what are now not only my best friends in the world but my only friends. It might be a tiny community, but I enjoy the interaction more than I enjoy anything else in my day. That being said, as you know, there’s a lot going on right now that has taken my mind to some pretty dark places these past 3-4 days. I am refusing, …
edit: Patreon is Live, I just got the blog approved at 6:37am after a 12 hour wait. This story’s link is here (i’m doing this on the fly so it’s not very polished yet) https://www.patreon.com/posts/hooray-patreon-120502434?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link It’s 4am and while I should be working on designing content with AI as this is my time of the night to do so – I’ve been spending the past 2 hours learning about AI instead. In particular – The Industry Reacts to DeepSeek R1 – “Beginning of a New Era” a youtube video by Matthew Berman 382K subscribers (Patreon isn’t linked to jaa4u.com just this moment so I couldn’t link a simple youtube video like I just did using WordPress as I …
