Today’s the day I get all kinds of nice emails and sms from married men saying the most romantic things to me such as …
“I would so take it up the ass for you”
“Me, You, Champagne, Lube? ! ”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, you make my Willy happy.”
“I love you like a fat kid loves cake”
“Will you sit on my face and glaze me like a doughnut now that I’ve sent you a card?”
I’ve long since dubbed this day as being Single’s Awareness Day. You know, the day that celebrate’s the male species inability to commit, made up for by buying an army of teddy bears, chocolates and flowers. There’s a shelf in my closet, the one that’s caught in the middle between the two sliding panes , where dust collects because it’s so hard to reach and it never sees the light of day. It’s not an empty shelf though, oh no. At the very back grouped together in sadness are all the teddy bears I’ve ever been given that have been sent there by me to die in loneliness. At least they get kept around, not like the chocolates and flowers which have their own special type of flower pot they get sent to.
I like thoughtful gifts. While it would be hard for you to top last year’s top gift, a first edition copy of Anne Frank’s Diary , you can take the less intimidating way into my heart by giving me and Wael a gift card.
Verbal well-wishers? You’re welcome to compete with the other 999 guys who have sms’d me already, and it’s only 8am. I smell a mass deletion for those who don’t put their money where their mouth is. 😛
Happy Single’s Awareness Day !
Mistress Wael’s Amazon Wish List is here.
kh xx
Just that is the reason why I didn’t send a valentines day greeting, A Goddess deserves better than that!
moo