Femdom Blog

It is strange to be known so universally, and yet to be so lonely.

Silent night, holy night … well for me – silent for sure as I sit here listening to the only sound in my condo, a rhythmic dropping of water from the kitchen sink to keep me company.  There is no other time of year that slaps me across the face harder, reminding me every second of this torturous two week holiday break just how lonely the lifestyle of a mistress is.

Actually I misspoke.

“How lonely the lifestyle of this mistress is”  I should say as I speak only for myself and not anyone else to be certain.  There are no friends houses for me to go visit and no nice Christmas dinners to be enjoyed, I instead am picking at a 5 baht bag of sticky rice sitting here beside my 20th story balcony window wearing my long purple tshirt that barely covers my knees upon which I precariously balance this laptop.  I’m leaning my head against the top of the sofa gingerly as to not disturb my perfectly set new hairstyle which conveniently ate away 3 hours of time at the salon earlier today.  Now I’m just waiting for the earliest moments of twilight to assure me the sun will indeed rise and I’ll make it through this eerily still night that brings with it Christmas morning.

To pick myself up I’ve just gone through my emails to re read all the well wishes you guys have sent me so far this December …

lonley-christmas“Thank you for what was a most amazing session, I cannot wait to come back next year and see you again.”

“I had a wonderful time, both at dinner and in the session but I have to admit I enjoyed talking to you far more as you are by far the most interesting girl I’ve met in Bangkok.”

“Deciding not to chicken out and meet you was the best thing I’ve ever done of all my times in Bangkok.  You are so interesting to talk to and I’ll be back in February to see you again.”

“I don’t know if I’m more spellbound by your beauty or your intelligence.  I’ll be back again to find out.”

Blue fish.  Blue fish.  Blue fish.  Blue fish.  Thank you for your comments but they’re all coming from blue fish dudes.

Bah, I’d usually screenshot the sms chat from which those quotes came from but I can’t be bothered.  If you don’t believe me by now, it’s out of my hands and anyways I have no reason to lie.  For a year I’ve poured my heart out into each story giving truthful accounts of both my feelings and my experiences so I can relay to those interested what it is exactly like walking in the same shoes that the original Mistress Jaa left me with before this lifestyle all but consumed her.

But I’ve done that story after story for a different reason than her.  I’ve made it clear haven’t I?  Maybe I’ve been too clever in my writing, expecting people to read between the lines, and when I sat down to write Fatal Attraction, one of my most popular blog posts, I all but said what’s bothering me but to no avail.

If I’m to believe what all the guys tell me at face value, I’m “the most beautiful girl they’ve ever seen” and I’m “by far the most interesting girl” anyone’s ever talked to in this part of the world.  Yet here I am at the end of yet another year, single, alone, lonely, unmarried.  Geez, I feel like the girl at the dance who never gets asked.  Well that’s not altogether true, I do get asked, about once or twice a day on average actually, but all blue fish and not a single red one to be found.


I’m a lone red fish swimming in a sea of blue fish.  I have the traits of an American, Commonwealth, or European girl … you know : educated , opinionated , confident , independent , financially secure.  Shit like that which would make me as much a red fish as girls from say, a USA University are.  Trouble is, the guys who swarm to this part of the world aren’t looking for a red fish, they’re looking for a blue fish.

A real stupid, subservient, but beautiful blue fish.

red-sharkIn fact, you guys travel half way around the planet to go fishing here because you can basically put a tire at the end of your fishing pole, it simply doesn’t matter, you’re going to catch a blue fish no matter what.  There’s quite literally millions of blue fish bred and raised in the “yes sir, yes sir, three bags full sir” school farms here.

I get it, I do, really.  From your perspective, why wouldn’t you want a girl way way way out of your league and who’s idea of multitasking is being able to iron, fold clothes and give a blowjob all at the same time.  Fuck, she’ll even smile while she swallows and say “anything else darling?”  I might be going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing it’s hard to find such a girl in Munich, New York or London?  I recently had to go to Kao San Road for a session with a backpacker dude and I caught myself thinking like a guy as I walked down the street saying “who would fuck any of these foreign girls?”  I got my answer as we went dancing after the session and I had more than 10 guys trying to get me instead of Miss Brussels and it occured to me for the millionth time that I was born 3,000 miles away from where I needed to be born.

Herein lays my problem, I need to get to where you live, where all the red fish girls swim.  Cuz i fucking guarantee, you put me in an American University for 2 years, and I’ll have my pick of guys wanting to commit to me … I’d be a bad ass red shark over there, and all them fat red fish wouldn’t stand a chance.

But sadly I’m not ‘there’ , I’m ‘here’, which sucks more than your normal suck.

doryI … I get to swim with what is the equivalent of Dory from Finding Nemo, except there’s like a school of them that covers the ocean as far as the eye can see here.  How easy is it to fuck a pretty blue Thai fish?  On an online dating questionnaire after the question “Do you believe in sex before marriage” they have to add “Duh” as a clickable response.  When asked “After how many dates would you consider having sex with your significant other?” they had to add “1/10th of a date” as an answer.

I’m not really into your tradition of sitting on an old man’s lap and whispering my wishes into his ear just on account that I don’t feel like feeling Santa’s boner.  However if i did, I’d most definitely wish for not only a spectacular wedding dress but a reason to wear it.  If that was asking too much I’d settle for a one way ticket out of here.

Ah, there it is.  The first lighter shades of black repainting the pitch black sky, the sun approaches.  Time to disappear to my vampire coffin and sleep away this joyous of days.

Merry Christmas everybody, I guess.  Not accepting gifts, but if you wanna come over and kiss my ass you’re more than welcome to.


jaa xx













3 Responses to Red Fish Blue Fish | A Mistress Displaced

  • Moo

    Hi Goddess!
    I like your story and if I knew about your feeling I would have pestered you a lot more during this holiday.

    If I was more close I would be at your door begging to kiss your ass if it would make you feel better, it certainly would have mede me feel better!

  • SG

    Why not emigrate?

  • Mistress Jaa

    “No Female Thais Allowed” a common theme among countries I’d emigrate to.