I haven’t been hiding the fact I’ve been pretty damn lonely since returning back from Europe in January, to the point where I’ve found myself doing something I’ve never done as a mistress at any point in the last five years which is inviting somebody to stay longer.
It wasn’t something I even planned to do , I just spontaneously blurted out after a rather nice session “if you liked it so much, why not stay and let me show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
I suppose I just wanted company, the lonely side of my brain would justify such a request as being such. But there’s been a growing devilish part of my personality that’s fully controlled by the devious side of my brain, one that seeks to seduce a man to such an extent that he would become nothing more than a willing pet for his mistress. It’s the side of the job that Jaa warned me about , the one that consumed her and led her to the self prescribed seclusion she entombed herself with now.
You see, here’s what happens when one starts down the road of becoming a mistress. At the beginning I was told that there were not only men out there that would lay down at my feet and do whatever I bid them to do , but that such men made up the majority of the population. Then I’d wander into my first sessions quite aware that I was not just making eye contact but actually trying to look through the dude’s skull and into his psyche somehow because I was clueless as to how to extract this subservient personality from the guy. I had acknowledged such a personality existed in each and every man I saw, but the one thing endearing to all submissive men is the ability to sense bullshit.
They all knew I didn’t have the “it” factor. Like remember the story line from The Matrix where Morpheus kept telling Neo to wake up and realize that he is “the one” and it wasn’t until the end of the movie where he became self aware of what he was and what he could do? Well that’s kind of how it is when you jump into this mistress life , I had the qualities, background, personality to be a mistress but lack of experience was holding me back.
It’s kind of cute that all you guys were booking sessions to try and help me become self aware back in the early days, each and every one of you stepping into the role of Morpheus so this cute and a little too sweet girl could soon activate full mistress mode instead of seeing it in drips and drops during your sessions.
Between then and say – last year there’s all these sub levels I passed through , each as significant as the last but all building toward what for all intensive purposes is the top of the Mistress skyscraper – self actualization. Not the penthouse , I’m talking the actual top of the skyscraper where controlling men has become such an afterthought that it’s hardly significant any longer , it just is. While there are many variations of how to control a man they are very much one in the same and for the longest time it seemed like there was nowhere left to grow.
You could measure the change in the number of “hot” stories I was writing about sessions over the years. In the beginning I was banging out a story a day almost , and that became a story a week , and then a story a month. Every day since the beginning I get an email saying something along the lines of “holy shit ____ , that was mind blowing, the best two hours of my life , wow, you are amazing” to which my mental reply has recently always been “ya for you it was mind blowing, for me … not so much.”
I’ve been thinking for the longest time “where do I go with this from here?”
Last year was all one massive life plan to move out of Bangkok and start over in Europe using my talents as a Mistress to settle in nicely over there – and then winter hit me kind of like this …
So after all that preparation , after all those German classes , after all those squats and step climbing sessions with my trainer , all that work milking corruption to get two visas to a country I had no right getting a visa to … I found myself right back where I started.
So I’ve been sitting in my condo since then thinking … “what was the point of that? This is where I started. I took the longest possible route to get right back to where I started in the first place” …
So after a February that had me mostly depressed and more lonely than usual I began doing something I never really do – accepting post session invites to go hang out with the guy I just gave a crippling set of blue balls to.
but I’m not seeing these guys because I want to date them I’m seeing these guys after my session because I want to know how long they can hang with me before I dry them absolutely crazy. the answer that question and everybody ends up with “not long at all.” because I’m just not someone who could have a boyfriend very easily.
it’s something that just comes with the job. it’s hard to explain.
you’d have to be someone who controls the opposite sex 24 hours a day for the last decade to really try and understand how I perceive men.
And therein lies the problem. I have such a bizarre lifestyle that at this point in time it’s the only lifestyle that makes me happy.
When I go out with a guy I’m more or less trying to lose them. To be frank – I’ve ended up cutting about 99% of all guys who try to talk with me. in reality only about 1% of the male population can make the cut when it comes to being able to hang out with me.
but now here’s the thing that really excites me.
when it comes to submissive men 99% of those 99% that I reject love trying to be the one percent that I keep does that make sense at all?
and no matter how much I reject them they keep trying to come back and improve themselves Reinventing themselves or making them a better mirror for who I want to perceive them as being.
and I get a good giggle at seen them trying to crawl back up the stairs to the same level that I’m at only to be met with the foot of my boot that pushes them tumbling back down to the bottom once again, because I know they’ll just pick themselves back up and begin the ascent once again,
and the ones who don’t I just couldn’t give a f*** about anyways because for everyone that walks away a hundred more waiting in line.
So Joe, a 26 year old blonde hair guy from London England asked for thep rivilege of seeing me in the middle of the afternoon last week and afterwards he asked me if he could tag along with me for the day. I never see guys in the afternoon but my pedicure until 7 p.M. So I had to switch with the guy and see him earlier than intended.
after the session I told him sure you can tag along with me but you’re not going to last more than an hour.
why he asked
because one thing will break first either my tolerance for you or your tolerance for me… and if none of those break then probably your wallet will cry ercy before the evening is through.
since Joe I’ve been on five consecutive dates with guys trying to woo their mistress and Joe is the only one to make it past dinner.
the second guy brought me to a cheap Japanese restaurant in terminal 21, I left him standing at the curb while I hopped into a cab a minute later.
the third guy let me order whatever I want while he ordered down to save himself the cost of an expensive dinner. he was cut immediately thereafter
the fourth guy tried to order for me. see ya
the fifth guy tipped the equivalent of what would be $2 in the United States of America. he was at home alone pumping his dick 20 minutes later wondering what the f*** happened.
but Joe took me to an Argentinian Steakhouse. an hour later and 10,000 Baht lighter he was allowed to continue on the date.
he bought himself another hour because he waited without fidgeting as I got my nails done at my pedicurist and was even nice enough to go to Starbucks to buy me an iced cappuccino while I was being attended to.
he footed the bill for my nails. good boy he was learning quickly.
we went to see the movie Black Panther at 9 p.M. And because he was smart enough to buy us VIP tickets in the very back row I made sure that he had no recollection of the movie whatsoever because I played with his dick for the entire 2 hours. he wanted to go relieve himself of urine in the washroom but I denied him the opportunity to do so because I know it was not urine that he wanted to relieve himself of. the poor boy was about to burst because I left him hanging in the session hours earlier and it ordered him since a week before to teach himself without cumming. so the boy was going on seven or eight days without having had an orgasm.
in fact had one of my hot model lovers been in town that day I would have brought him back to my bedroom, chained him to the wall and made him watch as I got my ass pounded by a hot supermodel boy right in front of his very eyes.
thenI would have sent the supermodel boy home and made this poor guy sleep in my bed upside down massaging my feet until I slept.
besides it’s nice not having to worry about getting up to go pee in the middle of the night. super convenient to have a mouth waiting right there to gobble up all my juice.
and if he had the nerve to spill a dropin the morning I wouldn’t be able to walk for a couple of days thereafter,
but none of that went down instead we just went back to my condo and I let him give me a massage on my sofa.
that’s whereI let him sleep right there on the sofa all night long while I retired to my bed.
as you know I live on a vampire sleep schedule staying up all through the night and opting to sleep in the daytime. annoying to have a boy sleepover in my condo I just find it robs me of my freedom to do what I want. so what about 4 a.M. I walked into the kitchen in the nude to pour myself some orange juice and when I turned around I found him sitting up on the sofa with a rock hard dick staring at me. I walked over to him and stood before him completely naked with just the Moonlight shining through my balcony window.
I told him he had 60 seconds to pump his cock and cumright in front of me and to let it drip on the floor.
then I made him clean up his mess with his own feet and dropped his shoes right in front of them then kicked himout of my condo right there and then.
I ended up watching Netflix until well past breakfast time and when I went to bed I didn’t wake up until just a few minutes before 6 p.M. The next evening.
I was in a scramble to get to my email because I knew I had a session coming that night for 7 p.M. And I hadn’t bothered to check to see if he had confirmed or not.
it’s sitting there at the top of my emails was one from Joe and I couldn’t resist the urge to take a peek and see what his thoughts were of the previous day. He had written:
“that was the most amazing 24 hours of my life. at this point I would do absolutely anything to give up my current life just so I could be your boyfriend and experience that day in and day out. is this something you would consider?”
yes it is
it’s very much something I would consider
I told him so
then I went and tried the same type of date with 5 other guys and they all failed miserably
guys who need to check their Wallets on a minute to minute or hour to our basis can’t hang with me.
most professional business man can’t handle the fact that I make what they earn as a monthly salary in less than a week. that’s life isn’t it most people are hung up on money trying to solve their financial problems. money isn’t something I’ve thought about for the past 5 years.
I can buy whatever I want I never look at a price tag.
but the point is I expect the guy to buy it for me.
and if he doesn’t … he’s gone
in fact I have no qualms whatsoever about hog-tying a guy back in my condo and leaving him there unfed for the entire day while I take his credit card and cash on hand and go for an all afternoon shopping spree.
pretty f***** up way of thinking huh?
you don’t even know the start of it
do you want to know what my ultimate Fantasy is?
in fact, let’s not call it a fantasy. let’s instead call it an inevitable reality that I’m heading towards.
instead of one man I want a harem of men.
all at my beck and call.
all living Under One Roof
all there to serve me.
all competing for the honor of serving me best. while living with the fear that I may discard them from my life at any given moment.
I’m pretty sure this is where my life is heading towards,
I just can’t have a normal relationship any longer. I don’t see a relationship where the balance of power is 50/50 as something that is viable.
relationships are a zero-sum game. someone holds all the power and someone holds none of it.
isn’t that what most relationships devolve into anyways?
they start off with this grandiose idea of equality. but it all ends up in s***
But like most things in life… what the general public perceives as being the way to do things is horribly wrong. instead the only truth is a truth of economics. the law of supply and demand. hot girls like me are in very high demand. the supply of women who have a mistress personality is extremely small.
the demand for men wanting a mistress girlfriend is ungodly High.
so why would I settle for anything less.
so here’s my proposition to you.
there’s a chance each and everyone of you can see me as something more than a mistress in your life. you’re welcome to try.
so when you see on my form that there is a three hour and four hour session that “includes dinner” the truth is there’s a possibility for much more than that. ask yourself, is that REALLY what you want?
do you really want to know what it’s like to have a mistress girlfriend
do you really want to live day in and day out knowing that there’s an equal chance every morning to be loved and or humiliated that day?
is a life of servitude something you really want?
cuz it’s not like taking a wedding vow and saying you’re going to marry the person forever when really you know a couple years down the line You’ll both be sitting in a divorce lawyers office signing papers that lead to a mutual agreement of how to properly end the relationship.
it’s a bit of a misnomer saying that a three-hour session with me is 10,000
on a good day at very well could be
on a bad day it could very well be over 20
bad day for you that is not for me
and if you’re someone who considers that bad then I really don’t have the time of day for you anyway… and you’ll find that out soon enough.
I had a lover once who had to go to work well before I would wake up every morning. I’d wake up in his Penthouse hours later after he had gone and every morning sitting on the kitchen counter was 10,000 Baht in cash left there for me to go shopping. some days I would use it but most days I wouldn’t. important thing was that he knew to leave it there.
on the morning that I woke up… it was a Saturday morning… and saw nothing on the kitchen counter… it was the last day I ever saw him. he assumed that because I never spent the money that the gesture wasn’t appreciated.
it’s not that it wasn’t appreciated… it’s that it was expected. and the moment he failed to reach my expectations I was gone.
is there… Possibly
… possibly a man… who can reach my expectations perpetually?
because if he doesn’t show up soon… I’m this close… to starting my own Harem of men. lol