Dawn has yet to break and rather than the quiet serenity that befells my condo at this early hour , there is an ominous weight in the air as the minutes feel like hours as they pass while I sit and wait for the scariest day of my life to unfold.
It’s been a week of reflection for me. Reflection on the thing that matters the most : life itself. Close friends of mine have always had a good laugh at the cows I paid for to save their lives when they were sick , and the ostriches I’ve saved , the baby birds I’ve nurtured that were found behind my house when I was young. The common thread through all my actions has been to not just to preserve life wherever possible, but to cherish it.
I remember writing in some blog story a long ways back that if I ever were to be laying on my death bed and had my life flash before my eyes ; I’d want it to be full of great things I’ve seen and done, and I think I’m doing a pretty good job staying true to my hopes for my life.
You know, I don’t smoke, I hardly ever drink , I go to the gym every day , I eat relatively healthy stuff … I mean I’m not a perfect eater by any stretch of the imagination but I do stay away from most fried foods.
What I’m saying is , all in all , I think I’m a good girl.
I don’t really believe in god, though I do believe there is more out there , we just can’t conceptualize what that may be because of the unimaginable enormity of the universe. But I’m going to take this moment anyways to walk out to my balcony here before the sun rises so I can get a good look at the stars above , and all I’m gonna say is “please , I’ve earned a bit of good luck don’t ya think? … throw some my way today will ya?”
For those in the know , thank you for all your kind words.