Seemingly for over a month I can’t find it within me to construct a story that’s worth writing let alone reading. The roots of the problem no doubt can be traced back to these bouts of self inspection, depression and goal-less-ness that I’ve been plagued with from about October onward ’til now.
That’s not to say however that I haven’t had some great thoughts pass through my mind. My phone and my laptop have a notes section which gets filled with random thoughts, memories, recordings and the occasional video – and it’s from these that in the past , when allowed to marinade like a good steak in the fridge , produce some fine story lines.
So since that hasn’t been the case , it occurred to me tonight that perhaps you’d might find it comical if not somewhat fascinating to see what my mind has fixated upon at different points over the past thirty days.
Thus, with no further adieu , here’s either a ‘one and done’ or ‘the first of many’ 21 of my most recent random thoughts :
- Penny Lane. It’s long been a quirk of mine to have a list of things “I absolutely have to do before I get old” and it’s led to some pretty knee knocking “what the fuck am I doing” moments trying to fulfil them. For instance, the moment the instructor beside me was yelling 3 .. 2 … 1 in my ear as I was about to bungee jump from the world’s tallest bungee jump bridge … definitely was a “last thing i’m going to do before i die’ feeling. But thankfully some things on my must do list are much simpler, one of which being to simply sign my name below Paul McCartney’s name on the Penny Lane sign in England. Got the idea from this absolutely wonderful video that – if you’re a sucker for nostalgia – really must take a moment from your day to sit and watch. You can thank me later that you did : (watch for the signature moment at 2:50 into the video)
2. In Demi Moore’s movie The Seventh Sign there’s a bit of dialogue that really struck a chord with me , and since it resonates with what I’m going through now ; haunts me. It reads as such :
The Guf, .
“ln Judeo-Christian mythology, The Guf is the Hall of Souls.
“Every time an infant is born, this is where its soul comes from.
“Folklore says sparrows can see the soul`s descent and this explains their song.
“But a day will come when the sparrow sings no more…
“…because there are only a finite number of souls in The Guf.
“lt`s when the last soul is used, and The Guf is empty, that the world will end.
Which is more or less how I feel my life will end. Oh for certain the world will go on , no need to fret about that. However the concept of their being a finite number of souls in the Guf – when I relate that to how I feel that after each session I do I feel I’ve emptied my soul a little more, and a little more. Surely there can only be a finite amount of sadness I can feel, yes? No?
See, I have this ability to make people feel very happy, and yet each time somebody leaves my place dancing on air , I slip a bit further towards emptiness. Talk about a zero sum job , huh.
3. I suppose if I wrote in my blog that I haven’t left my condo in 5 days , and nor have I talked to anyone that it would read as something alarming. Whereas in fact, I find lately that the more I shut out the world, the happier I am.
4. Be it my phone when I type , or my laptop here at home, why does my space bar voluntarily add unnecessary spaces at random?
5. When I let go of my goal last year to pick up the German language and continue my education oversees , I floated aimlessly for a while looking for a new purpose to my life. That led to an uncountable amount times where I’d stare at the stars with tears in my eyes in the middle of the night. It took a while for me to realise that the only time I was without thought was my two hours in the gym every afternoon. Which became 2 1/2 hour workouts. Then 3 hours. It got to the point where my legs were so sore from squatting barbells that if my bdsm session that evening required me to fuck the guy’s ass doggy style – my legs would seize up on me and I’d have to collapse onto the guys back and hold on for dear life until my thighs would stop convulsing.
6. Word got out to “go see Mistress Jaa if you’re into pegging because she’ll fuck you ’til she collapses” , and suddenly around January of this year every single session request was not for Tease & Denial but for hard core ass fuckery. By March I had iron thighs. By May though, even though my ass and hips really went into super curve territory , enough was enough. Things were so warped that no doubt I had seen more of men’s asses than I had of their faces , and had to drastically scale back on the number of pegging sessions I’d accept. That ratio has held right up until now where I’ll accept 10 Tease & Denial sessions before even considering a pegging session.
7. What the first third of the year did though was convince myself that it wasn’t a vain thing to do … to change my body from hot to drop dead gorgeous , be it through exercise or surgery. That has become my current goal , and judging by my latest tweet on Twitter , it’s making guys lose their fucking minds. Especially when they are seeing me in person for the first time as the most frequent compliment laid at my feet is that I’m infinitely hotter live than in my photos. A neat trick since my photos are pretty damn hot to start with.
The question is :
Am I more kissable , or more fuckable in this photo?
— ThaiGoddessJaa (@FemDom_Khaleesa) November 30, 2018
8. You see, a great deal of confidence is needed to be an elite mistress. I love that natural feeling of knowing I can knock men off their feet just by walking down to Starbucks in my shorts , with no makeup , 10 minutes after I’ve woken up. So if that truly is what I’m good at , then for fuck sakes, why not just go “all-in” with my looks. I’m talking boobs, eyes, lips, nose , ass – fucking everything. There are but a small handful of truly drop dead gorgeous bdsm mistress’s in the world – that I’ve seen on Twitter. I no longer want to be one of the best , I simply want to be the de facto – hottest mistress in the world. Not surprisingly … the sessions as the year has gone on have truly blown guys away :
i hope this email finds You well!
i apologies for only emailing You today but i needed few days to process what happened last wednesday… i am still seeing moments of the session when i close my eyes…
i just wanted to thank You again for the fantastic session.. it was such an honour to finally meet You and worship You… You are truly exceptional and i am really hoping to come back very soon at Your feet … i guess i am already addicted to You…
i really hope that despite my lack of experience You were a little bit satisfied with me and i hope that in the future we can define a path for me to progress toward whatever objective or state You envision for me…
Truly Yours, Goddess!
9. Pig Alert. Two dudes wearing brown , with gold helmets , on a motorcycle = capital D , Danger for you foreigners. Keep your eyes open, avoid if possible.
10. Ten is the consecutive # of sessions I’ve done that have been vacation / Mistress Girlfriend multiple day excursions. Lately, these are the only sessions that truly fascinate me. But they’re also a bloody nightmare for the guy(s) who don’t quite “get” what having a BDSM Mistress as a girlfriend would truly be like. Those expecting love, romance to bloom over a candlelight dinner , and hot passionate sex – find both the time spent with me and the 10,000/day to go with it a horrible investment. You’re lucky if you get to worship my ass while not in public. You’re just as likely to be chained to the end of the bed and sleeping on the floor as you are to be sleeping with your nose in my ass all night. But ya, you’ll fall in love , that’s a certainty. However, me falling in love with you – you’d have a better chance getting a fat kid to eat broccoli.
11. I”m enjoying these extended multi-day sessions so much that – under certain circumstances – I’m now accepting such sessions in Europe starting in 2019. The circumstances are strict though, a number of conditions must be met , and those are : a) we’ve had previous mutually enjoyable sessions here in Bangkok. b) You’re providing both the flight and accommodation. c) unless we’re talking about a period of time longer than a few days, the tribute is $10,000 baht per day. Negotiable if we’re talking about a multi-week stay. d) I’m not your 24/7 mistress. My true personality drives men to utter frustration / madness, or it drives them bat-shit wild ; and walking that line fascinates you.
12. Thanks to my fake job, paying me fake money with fake job slips , visas to anywhere in the world are no longer a problem. Which begs the saying, ‘if you’re gonna live right downtown in the world’s cesspool of humanity, might as well make corruption work for you.” amiright? 🙂
13. Not sure why, but guys say it adds to the experience when I toss them a slightly damp towel to clean themselves with after orgasm. So I’ve been keeping the towel I showered with as a cum rag. Which has caused me to buy about 500 towels this year. Fuck.
14. Just like it’s (super) hard to find a guy who knows how to keep his mouth on my pussy long after he’s eaten me to orgasm , giving me time to come down the mountain … it’s (super) important to keep pumping the guy’s dick slower and tighter to get every last drop out after the 2 hour build up has been released. Knowing how to properly handle a guy’s dick in those 60 seconds after orgasm is the difference between a great session and a fabulous one.
15. This guy found out the hard way that it’s MUCH better to wait for me in the event a session can’t be immediately booked. The Tease & Denial experience at anyplace elsewhere is “meh” at best:
Holy shit. It’s painful to be beautiful. Since we couldn’t have our appointment the 27 november. I’ve tried others things but that was pretty bad actually.
One prostate massage at Analisa, near asok station. Damn that was bad. No game, the girl thought she was teasing me but I didn’t care her handjob had a huge lack of skill actually. I paid for prostate massage but it was more a long handjob + “at the end I put a finger and I stroke your dick very hard to make you cum”. So disappointed.
I’ve tried a beautiful top ladyboy but he was an armpit fetish. It was funny but he wasn’t hard enough and I was too tight. We couldn’t make it.
I have to ask you if you are available in early December (I’m leaving the 5) to have a 2 hours session with a professional.
16. It’s humorous to me that my first ever stock investment was buying US$ 1,000 worth of BitCoin when it was at 11,000 , and seeing it plummet this month to 3,700 is a good reminder that I have a lot to learn when it comes to investing. My question to you in general is … at 3,700 is BitCoin now a good place to buy? Or is it in free fall?
17. To pass the boredom on the occasional night I don’t have a session , I’ll play with Tinder , chatting up hot guys to make them horny – and frustrating all their plots to find ways to meet me. This week when I went down to the lobby to meet “Alex” 29yo from London , who wanted to be walked like a dog with his nose in my ass (as per his session request email) I was the first to burst out laughing because he was the guy I had just been flirting with earlier that afternoon from the gym on my Tinder account. He didn’t catch on right away to who I was ‘cuz my Tinder photo is a grungy one of me on vacation , not comparable to the “damn girl” look I present myself with for our sessions. So I took out my phone , went to our conversation we had had earlier , and flipped to the part where he sms’d me : “you’ve never met a guy like me before” and made him read it. When the lightbulb went off in his head and he turned beat red in the face I pinched him by his nose and said “truth is, you’ve never met a GIRL – like me before.” Then showed him my ass and continued “woof woof” .
18. The Tinder mentality in these parts is that once you get the girl to meet you , it’s a guaranteed lay. Alex REALLY tried to ignore all his submissive emails as if he never sent them , and erroneously held on to his Tinder Mantra that I must somehow be a sure lay. Those types of sessions are the absolute worst , it’s a battle of egos and wits , one that I never lose. Guess how many minutes that session lasted before he was shown the door, lol.
19. Lots of guys were stunned to find out via my Twitter that I don’t celebrate any of the holidays here, including the recently passed Loi Kratong. I can’t believe littering the ocean with 69 million plastic boats of flowers is still considered a good idea on this side of the world. I am up for a good Turkey Dinner though this Christmas , anyone gonna invite me to meet the ‘fam over the holidays? Ya, didn’t think so lol.
20. The best way to follow me in the times I’m not writing many stories is via my Twitter account. Unlike everybody else who uses Twitter to promote themselves or their services , I use it only to display my personality, my thoughts, and my sense of humour. It’s why I don’t have a billion followers , but the one’s I do have really do get to know me on a more personal level. I reply to all comments too , so feel free to say what’s on your mind when I tweet something.
21. I’m gonna take Christmas and New Years off this year. In prior years I’ve done sessions straight through the holidays. Not so this time around. Mistress Wael will take over emails and blog stories for the week or so that I’m off.